Saint Clotilde may have my favorite portfolio of all the saints. She is the patron saint of disappointing children. Not as in, “she makes a habit of disappointing children.” No siree. She is the saint for rotten kids like Veruca Salt and all the others that qualify for lumps of coal in their stockings, as well as the vapid, listless children that will never amount to anything.
Clotilde lived from 475-545 AD. She was a princess of Burgundy and the second wife of King Clovis I, founder of the Merovingian dynasty.
After Clovis died, her three sons divided the Frankish kingdom, ruling from Paris, Orleans, and Soissons. They fought endlessly and schemed against each other and one of the brothers, Chlother, had two of his three nephews murdered. The third nephew escaped and pursued an ecclesiastical career.
Clotilde ended up removing herself completely from the affairs of her children and the royal courts, instead devoting her time to the building of churches and monasteries.